Billy Shakespeare wrote whole bunch of sonnets

It's surprising how you can listen to a song without actually listening to the lyrics. I was recently playing through the 90's throwback songs on my iTunes and LFO's "Summer Girls" came on. You know, the catchy, poppy "I like the girls who wear Abercrombie and Fitch" song. The chorus is fairly unremarkable and the tune is easy to listen to and hum along with, but when I heard the line above it caught my ear and caused me to replay the song and actually pay attention to the lyrics of the verses. It is without a doubt the singularly dumbest song I have ever heard. Seriously. It makes "MacArthur Park" sound like "Legionnaire's Lament". Which is sad because I like "Life is Good," their other well-known song, which, while mostly lyrically unremarkable and possessing of simplistic chorus, contains the great line "...pretty much this situation, except I'd be Steven McQueen." This song, however, contains a banal storyline about lost love shuffled with "what rhymes with..." lines of Family Guy-style no context cultural references. The lyrics below, for your enjoyment:

Yeah...I like it when the girls stop by.. In the summer

Do you remember, Do you remember?

...when we met..That summer??

[Chorus:]

New Kids On The block,had a bunch of hits

Chinese food makes me sick.

And I think it's fly when girls stop by for the summer, for the summer

I like girls that wear Abercrombie and Fitch,

I'd take her if I had one wish,

But she's been gone since that summer..Since that summer

[Verse 1:]

Hip Hop Marmalade spic And span,

Met you one summer and it all began

You're the best girl that I ever did see,

The great Larry Bird Jersey 33

When you take a sip you buzz like a hornet

Billy Shakespeare wrote a whole bunch of sonnets

Call me Willy Whistle cause I can't speak baby

Something in your eyes went and drove me crazy

Now I can't forget you and it makes me mad,

Left one day and never came back

Stayed all summer then went back home,

Macauly Culkin wasn't Home Alone

Fell deep in love,but now we ain't speaking

Michael J Fox was Alex P Keaton

When I met you I said my name was Rich

You look like a girl from Abercrombie and Fitch

[Repeat Chorus]

[Verse 2:]

Cherry Pez,cold crush,rock star boogie

Used to hate school so I had to play hookie,

Always been hip to the B-boY Style

Known to act wild and make girls smile,

Love New Edition and the Candy Girl

Remind me of you because you rock my world

You come from Georgia where the peaches grow

They drink lemonade and speak real slow

You love hip hop and rock n roll

Dad took off when you were 4 years old

There was a good man named Paul Revere

I feel much better baby when you're near

You love fun dip and cherry Coke,

I like the way you laugh when I tell a joke

When I met you I said my name was Rich

You look like a girl from Abercrombie and Fitch

[Repeat Chorus]

[Bridge:]

In the summertime girls got it going on,

Shake and wiggle to a hip hop song

Summertime girls are the kind I like,

I'll steal your honey like I stole your bike

[Verse 3:]

Bugaloo shrimp and pogo sticks

My mind takes me back there oh so quick

Let you off the hook like my man Mr. Limpet

Think about that summer and I bug, cause I miss it

Like the color purple,macaroni and cheese,

Ruby red slippers and a bunch of trees

Call you up but whats the use

I like Kevin Bacon,but I hate Footloose

Came in the door I said it before, I think I'm over you

but I'm really not sure

When I met you I said my name was Rich

You look like a girl from Abercrombie and Fitch

[Repeat Chorus]

[Repeat Bridge]

[Repeat Chorus]